At some point, somehow you have to learn to live by yourself. You know from the very beginning that you won’t be with you parents forever to take care of you, to give you money, to provide you beds, tv, computers, and all those things. You’ve been told (not taught) to live independent. No parents would tell (not teach) you how to live dependent to them. Except, for some people.
Different culture different way of life, that’s for sure. Here in Indonesia, you live with your parents till you can make your own money. Even if you live by yourself, let’s say in a rent room, you still ask money from them. You’re not independent in certain ways.
I’m not independent in money. But other than that, hell yes I’m working my ass off trying to live by myself. Nobody’s waking me up every morning. You wake up on time or you’re late for work. Nobody’s cooking me breakfast, let alone dinner. You cook or you don’t eat. Nobody’s providing you vegetables and fruits in the refrigerator. You shop or you have nothing to eat. Nobody’s doing you any favor, you have to make it by your own.
For someone who never lives apart from their family, doing all the things by themselves is a struggle, it’s a struggle day by day. Sure it’d be much better if only there were some places to eat, you eat then you pay. Let alone a laundry place. But that’s not the case here.
. I live in this Kampung Sempora which is placed behind the place where I’m doing my research, Indonesian Science Institute, Cibinong, West Java. The Kampung I live, There’s only some warung (it’s like a mini store) where they sell only raw materials. So still, I have to cook. Here’s the thing, I get that instead of regretting how I live in here, I’m thankful I get to learn how to live independent. A chance that I wouldn’t have experienced if I hadn’t come here.
Yes, I can’t be the same when I do grocery like I used to. I used to take all the things I WANTed (not NEEDed) and didn’t have to worry about how I’d pay. My mother would do all the paying, I’d do the taking. You know, taking things from the grocery store. Things that would rot in the refrigerator cause I forgot to use it. It was fun to be thoughtless.
Then here I am, where I have to walk for a while to go to the ATM (fyi, for us, Indonesian, walking 15 minutes to just go to the ATM is not that fun). And have to be careful to use my money because yes, my parents could send me money but who guarantees that it’d come on time and I feel it, how burdening to ask for money to them. I’d rather spend my money carefully instead of spending it away and keep asking frequently to them.
I do my grocery here. But I do it differently, you know, like making priority scale. Which ones of these things I really need and which ones still can be covered. A lot of times I take some things then I look at my trolley and do the sorting. Then I put them back to the shelves.
I think it’s good to be like this. No, I know it’s good to be like this, carefully spending your money. Besides it teaches you to be thrift, it teaches you not to be an extravagant. One thing I learned, you never know. You never know if you’re gonna be somebody with a lot of money, somebody with enough money, or worse, somebody with no or little money.