sadly, we continued arguing, not really arguing bcz he couldn’t say anything. at that moment I knew, he didn’t say a word not bcz he didn’t want to but he couldn’t. but I let my ego won, I knew but acted like I didn’t.
he moved, he did it to calm down himself. I waited, not patient enough to wait that long, I walked away. he followed, grabbed my hand. I said to him to let go -this isn’t like I wanna make this dramatical lol but this is what happened-, and I asked, “You wanna tell me or not?”, it was like he swallowed his own tongue to just say “Yes.” he continued, “Please help where I’ve gotta start.” I replied, “How would I know! that’s your own life, not mine!” and I went back. second later I was really regretting that, it was so mean, the way I answered. I held myself not to cry bcz I heard my own voice when I said that word. he was trying so hard to make this all okay. but..
we sat, but again, he was silence. I waited, waited, waited. I said, “What do you wanna tell me?” he was talking sentence by sentence, and quiet, than continued sometimes word by word, and quiet again, that moment was going on for the next couple minutes.
and again, I was holding my self not to cry, but I lost. I cried, grabbed his face and whispered that I knew he was trying, thank you, hugged him, and let it go.
I really love him, really do. no matter what she said about ‘mine’ and ‘her’, what I know for sure is that I’m with him now. he’s with me. nothing to worry about 🙂