sometimes, when I’m in the very unstable emotion I always have thoughts like, “It must be nice to be her.”, “She’s got everything, money, love, beauty.”, “She’s got A score, and I don’t.”, and others stupid thoughts. it’s like jealousy. why she has it, why she can do it, why she’s got everything I don’t. but then, the next second, I think, “You have to be grateful for what Allah always giving you..”. it’s just like the cliche wise words,
“Allah always created us in more and less sides.” ya, I know it 🙂
do you know how hard it is to built up your self confidence? when you’re in the middle of rich people, smart people, great people, when you’re being different from people around you. it’s like being alien. I hate it. well, I had such those suck times but I’ve been trying to be myself, my own self. I’ve been trying to built my self confidence up.
“Being different isn’t the thing that you should feel shame for”
you know, I’m starting to ignore people’s stares. it’s hard, I can tell. when you walk, then their eyes just following you on your back, and their lips starting to say something behind your back. when you talk, then they see you from your head to your toe, and their faces starting to change. it sucks, when the first time I felt it. but now, I think it’s funny. watching and guessing what people think about you causing of their suddenly alterations lol.
I don’t give a shit of what people think, me is just me. the very me 🙂