hurting is..

something i could do easily. no, not physically, but heart. whenever i get mad, it’ll come out very good. it fells damn easy to say something rude to others. no, no others, but him. but i don’t do that to people that i don’t know. i do that on people that i think i know them well. weird, huh? i supposed to do something good to everyone i know, especially the closest instead of get mad on them. it comes to me sometimes, the thoughts that God always See what we’re doing, and always there recompense for every single thing we did. they said it’s karma. i just believe it.

umm, i’ll make it clearer, specifically, he’s the one i’ve been talking about here. he’s my closest person. i can talk everything to him, everything that even my parents don’t know. he’s my best listener ever. whenever i feel so loaded with stuff, he always be the first person i look for. and of course, be the first person whom i tell about my stuff.

but, everytime we get into fight, i will be the one who yelling at him. i will be the one who use CAPSLOCK. i will be the one to cut off the phone. i will be the one who make him cry. i will be the one to do something worse. i will be the one who hurt him. and i will be the one to say ‘break up’ :'((

but i know for sure, everybody has a limit. it’s just like a bomb. suddenly exploding. i think he has it too, and what worse is, i will never know when the bomb will explode. i’ve promised my self to be a better person everyday, but it just broken everytime we get into fight. all i can do is just trying to always be calm, it could be music, movies, or just take a walk to make me calm. i just have to do it whenever i got mad. but i don’t know why, it feels so hard to be done 😦 when i realized, i was always just in the middle of my angry. i didn’t even know when it came. pathetic.

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One thought on “hurting is..

  1. ;( aww… I understand… I also have problems with my temper.. But we should keep in my mind to value those who love us… Cause in the end, worse comes to worst, they might be gone and leave us with nothing but regret… ;(

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